Surgery Day

Hey y’all!

So I literally have to be up in like 7 hours to leave for surgery and I can not get to sleep! I’ve tried smoking a little “devil’s lettuce.” I’ve tried just laying here in the dark. I’ve tried laying here and watching tv [which usually puts me to sleep instantly lol]. But I’m wide awake.

I don’t mean I’m wide awake in an active kind of way. It’s more of a “I’m super nervous so my body and mind won’t relax enough to shut down and let me sleep” kind of way. I was so excited for this about a month ago, hell I was even super excited about two [2] weeks ago. And then all of a sudden last Friday I started getting nervous, and then Monday when I got the call for the appointment reminder everything horrible that could possibly go wrong started racing through my brain.

*By the way, if you’re scheduled to have ANY kind of procedure done, DO NOT….I REPEAT DO NOT, google videos or other articles about the procedure.*
Yes, I’m saying that from recent experience. It definitely doesn’t help your nerves AT ALL. Just ask the doctor or whoever is doing the procedure anything you’re curious or scared about.

Basically all I can think about still [for the past few days if I’m being honest with y’all] is that “if there’s a possibility that it can go wrong, it’s going to go wrong during my appointment”….

I can’t get my mind to go back to the positive thoughts. I’m hoping it’s just nerves and that once everything is done and I’m back home I’ll be a little more relaxed. Or even when I get there and can talk to the doctor, he can reassure me that I’ll be fine…

I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t even know if anyone’s going to read this. But if y’all do, just know I’m nervous AS FUCK! But if it does happen to go smoothly [or I at least make it out alive], I’ll be sure to let y’all know in another post!

XOXO

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